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18 Jul 01 - conversation with God; EMS guide; peanut butter; products ** WASTE PREVENTION FORUM ** -- A project of the National Waste Prevention Coalition -------- Forum archive: http://www.reuses.com/nwpcarchive -------------------- From Tom Watson, National Waste Prevention Coalition and King County Solid Waste Division, Seattle, WA: A friend of mine, Julie Mitchell, forwarded this to me, and I enjoyed it. I do not know who wrote it. If anyone does know the original source of this, please let me know, so I can provide the proper attribution. CONVERSATION BETWEEN GOD AND ST. FRANCIS GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature, what in the world is going on down there in the U.S.? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistles and the stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of color by now. All I see are patches of green. ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. They are called the Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass. GOD: Grass? But it is so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, bees or birds, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want grass growing there? ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing it and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn. GOD: The spring rains and the warm weather probably make the grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites very happy. ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it has grown a little, they cut it - sometimes two times a week. GOD: They cut it? Do they bale it like hay? ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags. GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? ST. FRANCIS: No, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize it to make it grow and when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? ST. FRANCIS: Yes, that's right. GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work. ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. GOD: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep the moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves become compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life. ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. As soon as the leaves fall, the Suburbanites rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away. GOD: No way! What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose? ST. FRANCIS: After throwing the leaves away they go out and buy something called mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves. GOD: And where do they get this mulch? ST. FRANCIS: They cut down the trees and grind them up to make mulch. GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight? ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's a real stupid movie about... GOD: Never mind - I think I just heard the whole story from Saint Francis. ---------------------- Excerpted from a message from Burton Hamner, Hamner and Associates, Seattle, WA: The Pollution Prevention Regional Information Clearinghouse in Nebraska has just completed a draft Internet resource guide on Environmental Management Systems (EMS) and ISO 14001. This DRAFT narrative guide to EMS is online at: http://www.cleanerproduction.com/Ecolink/emspage.htm We are extremely interested in feedback on the structure of this narrative approach to describing web resources. Please e-mail me with your comments. Also, please forward this e-mail to anyone you think might be interested in providing feedback to us. Thanks very much! E-mail: bhamner [ A T ] cleanerproduction [ D O T ] com --------------------- From Jeffrey Smedberg, County of Santa Cruz Public Works Department, recycling program, Santa Cruz, CA: NEWS ITEM: SLICED PEANUT BUTTER TO HIT U.S. STORES Pre-sliced peanut butter is on its way to U.S. store shelves in test markets, food researchers from Oklahoma State University said Monday. "It's all about convenience," said William McGlynn, a member of the team that developed the product. The peanut butter comes individually wrapped in plastic sheets, like sliced cheese. A package of 17 one-ounce slices will start selling soon in Wal-Mart stores in Oklahoma and the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Source: San Jose Mercury News wire services, 7/17/01 At long last, the pre-eminence of convenience! Think of all the other advantages: - No more gooey spreading knives to clean, saving water. - Improved regularity in diet, with each serving the same size. - Eliminates young boys fighting for the biggest helping, fostering world peace. - No wasted product stuck down in the bottom of the jar. I can't wait for the pre-sliced jelly! Jeffrey's e-mail: recycle [ AT ] co [ DOT ] santa-cruz [ DOT ] ca [ DOT ] us --------------------- Link to the website for the Sustainable Products Training conference Sept. 10-11 in Austin, Texas (first seen on the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency's WasteWise listserv): http://www.sustainableproducts.com/austinannounce/announce.html This extensive training session features a number of speakers and trainers from around the nation. - end -